Being Harsh and Critical on Yourself? Try This.

How have I broken the cycle of being self-critical and the incessant thoughts rattling around in my head that says “I’m no good”?  It’s easy, but a bit radical.  I simply turn the very thought of self-rejection “on its head” and repeat the following words silently in my mind and heart. . .

“I accept that I don’t accept myself”.

Doing this has an amazing affect on me.  It’s as if the mental and emotional stress I’m exerting to avoid these thoughts of self-rejection simply vanishes when I say these words. 

By accepting that you don’t accept yourself you automatically bring yourself into alignment with the truth.  And the funny thing is that it is OK to admit to yourself that you “accept not accepting yourself”. 

Try it now. 

Did you die when you accepted this truth?  No?  Well good then.  What you probably experienced was relief that you no longer have to deny that you don’t accept yourself.

You see, by accepting the fact that you don’t accept yourself you remove the sting by accepting this truth.

There is an old saying in the bible that goes like this. . .

“Then you will know the truth and the truth will make you free”.

Try meditating tonight on the thought that you “accept not accepting yourself” and let me know how you feel after you let this reality wash over you.  



Why a Blog on Owning Your Inherent Goodness?

Why have I begun a blog titled “Owning Your Inherent Goodness?  I suppose it is because the words are so powerful to me.  When I meditate on the very thought of this idea it is a tonic to my soul.  However, can I honestly say that I own my inherent goodness in the life that I lead today?  At this point in my life I must answer “no”.

I do believe, however, that “Owning My Inherent Goodness” has been the one thing in my life that I was destined to do.  For some reason it has been a burning desire that resonates throughout my entire being.  It’s not only a craving of mine, but the Holy Grail that I have pursued my entire life. 

And now, for some reason, at the age of 50 it appears that writing a blog about this very pursuit is the next logical step in my journey to FINALLY do exactly that – own my inherent goodness.  I can’t explain it, but right now it feels just right to write.  Could it be that I’ve crossed the great divide that kept me from owning my inherent goodness all these years?  Is it possible? 

Why is it that I now believe I have a voice that has the right to exist and be heard. . . even if there is no one on the other end of this blog to read these words?

You see for the majority of my life I felt that I was literally a “mistake” and that I was not supposed to be here.  That feeling was only cemented when I asked my father if I was planned (an intentional pregnancy).  He answered in the most unapologetic manner that I was in fact an unplanned pregnancy and that I was a “mistake”.

The way my father said this sent shivers down my spine.  I felt a sense of doom in my mind and heart as he confirmed my deepest fears that I indeed should have never been born.  In a flash I understood why I had tried my entire life to achieve success in everything I did as a way to prove to myself (and others) that I was worthy. . . and, that I was supposed to be here. 

And yet, no matter how many successes I achieved in my life I always felt I was “bad” and not supposed to be here.  It felt as if I had a “hole in my soul” and that if somehow. . . someway. . . I could only read the right self-help book, find the right therapist, find the right girlfriend, right job, right place to live, etc., then I would be “healed”.

If what I’ve written today doesn’t sound too crazy and resonates with you, than please stay on this journey with me as I share how I got to where I am today.  It is my hope that by sharing my experiences on this journey with you that it will allow me to cross that divide that had kept me separated from owning my inherent goodness all these years. 

My other hope for this blog is that my words may connect with you and give you your own hope that you are on the right path. . . that you have always been on the right quest to know the truth about yourself. . . that you are inherently good. 

Please feel free to forward this blog entry to anyway you feel may benefit.  If you and I share this journey, then there must be others like us who are on the same path.  Maybe they, too, can benefit.

Until my next posting I wish you well and want you to know that I acknowledge the inherent goodness you possess.


Two Recommended Reads for Owning Your Inherent Goodness

As I am currently organizing my thoughts, experiences and lessons gained on this topic during my life, I would like to recommend to you two books that address Owning Your Inherent Goodness:

1. Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person by Hugh Prather
First published in 1970 this book remains timely as the author shares his struggles (and successes) in becoming more real.

2. There is Nothing Wrong With You: Going Beyond Self-Hate by Cheri Huber
Published in 1993 this book uniquely demonstrates how your childhood experiences affect your belief about your true self.

I highly recommend both of them, if you’ve been on a quest to find peace and serenity in your life. Grab one (or both) of these reads and let me know what you think.